Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
