No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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