We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
