Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
