what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
