There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
