I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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