I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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