I got chris browned last night
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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