problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
