I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
