i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
