It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
