this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
