R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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