you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
