Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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