things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
