Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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