have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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