Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
