Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
