If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize