This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
