Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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