Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
