if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
