they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
