it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize