You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
pray to the hookup gods
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You left your phone here
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