so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
