It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i drank out of a bidet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
