...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize