matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
