do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
