Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
