the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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