I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
