When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
