he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
