soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
do nipples grow back?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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