i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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