I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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