So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
