I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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