Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
