hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I can't turn off my feet"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
