i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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