I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize