Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
