I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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