Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
