I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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