got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
