lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
