I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
