Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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