You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
