so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
