I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
