If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
