I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
