you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
