Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
