i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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