if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
