Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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