how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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