: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
