i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
